After 90 Days of Medical Treatment, Lindsay Lohan Still Bears Her Genetically Inflicted Gingerness.

Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan (27) emerged from the Cliffside Rehab Facility in Malibu yesterday in good spirits. This is in spite of the visible signs that her intensive treatment to cure her lifelong struggle with gingerness was not successful. The I Know Who Killed Me star smiled at the waiting paparazzi as she made no attempt to cover up her hair colour which has become a social stigma.

Richard Taite, founder and chief executive of Cliffside Malibu, spoke with the nauseated media after Ms. Lohan had left the facility. Mr. Taite reminded reporters that while there are no cures for gingerness, he was certain that with regular treatment, Ms. Lohan could have a ‘somewhat’ normal life if not a struggled one.

Discussing the Herbie stars 90 day intensive treatment in Cliffside, Mr. Taite made it clear that the medical supervision she received was just the beginning of a long line of experimental treatments. Mr. Taite made it clear that regular medical supervision will be required in order to combat Lohan’s ginger tendencies. Mr. Taite called on the Superior Court judge James Dabney to make regular visits to the facility mandatory now that the ginger is back among the general population.

“Our entire clinical team is in unanimous agreement that if these sessions are not required by the court and attendance verified once a month to ensure accountability, it is a setup for almost certain failure.”

Lohan will not only have to battle the aesthetic deformities that the ginger disease inflicts on her, but also the behavioural aspect of the disease. “Ginger personality”, is what Mr. Taite said will be Ms. Lohan’s biggest obstacle to overcome now that she is back in the public eye. The general public have grown a strong intolerance for the ‘ginger personality’ aspect of the disease after more than a decade of enduring Seth Green.

Ms. Lohan hopes to set up a ginger foundation to highlight the stigmas that sufferers face on a daily basis and to provide black hair dye to those who might be too embarrassed to buy it from a shop.

1 August 2013.